Thursday, March 24, 2011

Driving at Night

I don't drive very often. When my husband is around, he drives more than I do. It's his car. I only borrow it on the weekends when he's working. I also don't drive at night very often. It's only when I need to that I will drive at night. It's partly because I can't see very well. Traffic lights, headlights, and streetlights have rings around them when I look at them at night. I think I may need glasses, but if it's only at night, why bother.

However, when coming home tonight, my husband let me drive. I knew the road very well as if I'm going to drive on a road, I would prefer to drive that one any time of the day. Traffic was very light and I thoroughly enjoyed the drive.

I think the weirdest thing about the drive was that my husband was right next to me. When I have the car, I drive alone. I can turn the radio on as loud as I like. There's no one to look at me weird. That was not the case tonight. My husband does not like the music I listen to very much. I think it has to do with the volume. I like it loud. He doesn't. We reached an understanding a while back. I get to listen to what I want to in the car and he controls the television at home (while he's away, it's different). It works.

So I managed to get home okay, and my husband didn't complain about my driving once. I'd like to try driving farther on my own one day. Perhaps there's another challenge there?

Thanks for reading.

Lynn

Gravity Hill, Abbotsford

I had heard that there is a portion of a road in Abbotsford that if you find it, put the car in neutral and the car climbs a hill. It's an optical illusion. So my husband and I went to look to see if such a place actually exists.

Well, I can say I think we found it. It's near Ledgeview Golf and Country Club in Abbotsford. There are no markers on the side of the road. From all of the research I read it sounds like the recent road construction ruined most of it. However, when we put the car in neutral it actually appeared to want to roll uphill! It was kind of  interesting.

I will also say that the amount of traffic was a hindrance. It's hard to pull off the side of the road with quite a few cars behind you. But I have to say it was worth the trip.

I was expecting more fanfare at this site. However, not having anything there allowed me to seek it out on my own. This was by far more rewarding.

Thanks for reading

Lynn

William Blake's "Songs of Innocence and of Experience"

It has been a very busy day today. I will post in the order I completed the challenges.

During my lunch break today, I finished reading William Blake's "Songs of Innocence and of Experience". Most people probably know William Blake for his poem "The Tyger" which comes from the book Songs of Experience. However, there are three more other poems from his book that resonated with me more:

The Clod and the Pebble
Love seeketh not itself to please.
Not for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease
And Builds a heaven in hell's despair

So sang a little clod of clay
trodden with the cattles feet;
But a pebble of the brook,
warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only self to please
To bind another to its delight;
Joys in another lots of ease
And builds a hell in heaven's despite.

I think this poem begins like 1 Corinthians in the bible and ends with the opposite sentiment. I like this poem because to me it says you can't have good without bad. They both must exist.

The Little Vagabond
Does Mother, dear Mother, the church is cold.
But the ale-house is healthy and pleasant and warm.
Besides I can tell where I am used well,
Such usage in heaven will never do well.

But, if at the church they would give us some ale.
And a pleasant fire, our souls to regale;
We'd sing and we'd pray all the live-long day:
Nor ever once wish from the Church to stray.

Then the Parson might preach and drink and sing,
And we'd be as happy as birds in the spring,
And modest Dame Lurch, who is always at Church
Would not have bandy children, nor fasting, nor birch

And God like a father rejoicing to see, his children
As pleasant and happy as he;
Would have no more quarrel with the devil or the barrel,
But kiss him and give him both drink and apparel.

To me this poem is a little tongue and cheek. It contains a little bit of a naive view of religion, hence the innocence. It also mocks the code of behaviour strictly enforced by the Christian faith, to me the experience part of it. This poem comes to me at a good time in my life because I can see both sides.

The last poem:
The Human Abstract

Pity would be no more,
If we did not make somebody poor:
And mercy no more could be,
If all were as happy as we:

And mutual fear brings peace
Til the selfish loves increase,
Then cruelty knits a snare,
And spreads his baits with care,

He sits down with holy fears,
And waters the ground with tears;
Then humility takes its route
Underneath his foot

Soon spreads the dismal shade
Of mystery over his head;
And the caterpillar and the fly,
Feed on the mystery.

And it bears the fruit of Deceit,
ruddy and sweet to eat;
And the raven his nest has made
In it's thickest shade.

The God of the earth and sea,
Sought tro' nature to find this tree
But their search was all in vain;
Their grows one in the human brain.

To me, this poem reflects upon human nature. We all want to be happy. However, ultimately someone out there is suffering at the same time. Human nature is very selfish and will not stop at anything in order to obtain what it thinks will make one happy. I like this poem. I think it says a lot of things that are worth thinking about.

In terms of the poems, I identified better with those in the Experience book, rather than the Innocence. I would also recommend a better book to read then the copy I had. It was a book that used copies of the plates Blake created through his own printing press. It is very hard to read.

Thanks for reading.

Lynn

Sunday, March 20, 2011

1st Anniversary

This week marks the first anniversary of the beginning of my cancer journey. I had a small tumour on my right thigh which I had biopsied earlier that March. Around this time last year, the oncologist called and let me know the results indicated it could be cancer but that they were unsure of what type it was. Surgery was necessary in order to fully determine what it was. This week marks the anniversary of my first surgery.

It turns out the cancer I had was Merkel Cell Carcinoma. A rare form of agressive skin cancer that primarily affects people in their 70's. The journey would go on to include another surgery which created a skin graph and biopsied some lymph nodes to determine if the cancer had metastasized. The end result was that the cancer had not spread throughout my body. However, I will not have another clean bill of health for 5 years and significant scaring to my thigh, groin and belly (another biopsy on a tumour).

Cancer has impacted my life significantly. What I once took for granted, I can no longer afford to. Part of the reason this blog was created was to challenge what assumptions about myself and life I held onto that I can no longer hold true. I would like to say that I am a better person since the cancer, but I think the jury is still out on this one. I am stronger emotionally than I was in the past. However, I am here today thanks to a lot of people who have helped me to deal and cope with the experiences and emotions this journey created. I will always be grateful for the time and energy spent listening, explaining and visiting. That part of the journey was by far the most helpful and has continued to impact my daily routine.

This post is not without it's challenge, however. Because the purpose of this blog is to help me create a snapshot of this year, this anniversary deserves to be included.

Here is a list of some of the things that were helpful to me during the last year:

Movies:
-Bucket List- During the movie, there is a scene where Morgan Freeman is faced with the initial news of his cancer. His face when he gets the call, was a defining moment for me. Somehow I was able to identify with his facial reaction the most because I had been there just a few months before I saw the movie. I have to admit the first time I saw this movie, I bawled my eyes out. Good thing I was at home alone. I think I went through a box of tissues.

-Hope Floats- Okay, it's a chick flick. However, to me there is some merit in the movie at the end where the theme of the movie is revealed that still resonates with me. Somehow hope always floats up. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else, but to me it does. I didn't cry with this one but I did pause to think about it's message.

Music:

Chad Brownlee's "Hope"- He's a local country artist. The song is sort of self-explanatory. For those that haven't heard it, I have attached a link (thanks to you-tube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3FECvlzTu8

John Mayer's "Say"- The theme song from Bucket List. This song is also sort of self-explanatory. For those that haven't heard it, here is the link (thanks you-tube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt58Z_XuGe4

Katy Perry's "Firework"- Again rather self-explanatory and a little more recent than the other songs. This song kept playing in my mind when I had to go for a follow up appointment, test results were coming back indicating a different outcome and I underwent another biopsy. For those that haven't heard it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

Last but not least, the scars. I've learned scars heal. My leg looks a lot different than it did a year ago. This has been the hardest part of the journey for me. A skin graph takes daily moisturizing which forces you to deal with the harsh realities every day. I understand that I could have been a lot worse off. I'm not denying that. I am being honest. Scars are scary things. The healing process will take years and will take daily care for the rest of my life. However, not is all bad. I can still walk, work and exercise.

I have included the latest picture of my skin graph into this post. It is below. I would like to use the picture next year to determine the healing progress I have made. If you would like to see, please feel free. However, don't say I didn't warn you. I still have some family members who refuse to look at the scars because it is quite noticeable. Here in lies the latest challenge: this is by far the most personal post that I have ever or ever will make again. However, I am going on the notion this is part of the healing process and that by this time next year, the scars will be even better looking than they are now.

Thanks for reading this long post




Lynn

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Drive In Movies

Tonight my husband and I went to the drive in movies. Normally it wouldn't be that much of a challenge. However, with the weather being rainy and cold it was more of a challenge than one would expect.
We came prepared by packing two separate blankets for the cold. We also let the windows open a crack so that the windows didn't fog too badly and so that we didn't have to turn the car on and run down the battery. We also turned the car on to idle during the intermission to recharge what we could.

We saw Liam Neeson in Unknown. Not a bad movie. I have a very tiny bit of a crush on Liam Neeson so it was good to start with his movie while I was wide awake.

The next movie was Hall Pass. You know you're in a bad movie when the other customers leave early. The idea of the movie wasn't bad. However, it was very crude and the message was lost in the gross humour. Not my favourite but still worth the experience.

All in all it was a good evening. I look forward to going again this summer when the weather is better!

Thanks for reading

Lynn

Friday, March 11, 2011

Indian Lunch

Well, due to some unforseen circumstances it was another productive yet challenging day. My car needed fixing. I had to wait all day downtown while it was getting worked on. So I did the only thing I could think of: I challenged myself as many ways as I could.

My husband and I had Indian food for lunch. The menu included:

Potato and Eggplant Curry- pieces of potato and eggplant cooked with a mild curry sauce
Tandoori Chicken- chicken pieces cooked with curry and yogurt in a clay oven
Beef Masala-Pieces of beef cooked in a curry masala spice
Rice
Naan Bread- Indian Pita bread
Curried Spinach- Spinach, Indian spices in a curry sauce
Khadi - Veggies and chickpea flour in a creamy curry sauce
Butter Chicken- Chicken pieces in a creamy tomato sauce
Chana Masala - Chick peas in a tomato curry sauce
My observations:

I have had Butter Chicken, rice and naan and chana masala before. I sometimes make these at my house. My favourite is the chana masala. So these weren't a challenge to me.
The beef masala and the khadi were by far the spiciest. I felt bad for the waiter who kept bringing water. However spicy, it was not incredibly hot and was quite tasty. The spinach curry was quite mushy but tasted very good mixed with the rice. I truly believe the eggplant was meant for curry. It tasted much better today and I would highly recommend this dish to anyone who doesn't like a lot of spice.

I didn't get sick to my stomach afterwards because of the spice. I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch and am looking forward to going again.

Thanks for reading.

Lynn

Ongoing Challenge: Name Change

Okay, so it's a long time in coming. However, due to some requests, I have decided to change my name to my married name.
The primary reason I didn't do it until now was because of the overwhelming nature of this task. There are so many places to go to to accomplish this.
I have started with my employer but am in no way done this challenge. Today I changed over my banking.
Tomorrow my drivers license will get changed. Hopefully if I get enough time!

Because this challenge is not completed, I will continue to update this blog. So if you're interested in how frustrated I become and what I've found out along this journey please keep reading.

Thank-you.

Lynn

March 25th: My Social Insurance Card has been changed, Airmiles has been contacted and I think that's all the ID I need to worry about. I am still waiting for my care card. However, I have received my new credit card, benefit cards, and my new profile at work. To change my SIN Card was the longest. Apparently because I'm a twin (oops, didn't mention that before) it flagged the change. Good to know.
Thanks for reading.

I have now changed my drivers license, my banking and credit card info and my work information. I have also let my church and places I volunteer know about the changes. This is more work than I originally thought. In the next two weeks, I will have my SIN, and Airmiles card changed. I think the Airmiles is the most important (lol!)

April 9th: All of my id has now been changed and I have received all of my new cards. It's official: my name has been changed in every place I can imagine. It's still a little bit weird, seeing your new name on all of your emails and cards when you pull them out to go shopping. Come to think of it, I think I may have signed some receipts with the last name wrong on them! I guess you could say it is still a work in progress!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Eggplant Supper

What a weekend. Despite volunteering at an event for the majority of the weekend, I was also able to complete my courses in time and have an interesting supper.

I have never eaten eggplant. Because it is considered a super food, one that can prevent some forms of cancer (or so I've been told) I decided I should familiarize myself with this vegetable. I now know better but at least it didn't cost the bank this time.

My menu for tonight's dinner included:

Baba Ghanouj- I purchased this from the local grocery store. It's a roasted eggplant dip and spread with lots of garlic.

Magaricz- An Eggplant version of Italian Caponata (whatever that is). It's a veggie spread for bread, crackers or veggies. The recipe I used can be found here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Magaricz/Detail.aspx

Easy Eggplant Pitas- Eggplant fajitas. The recipe I used can be found at: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-Eggplant-Pita/Detail.aspx

Preparing the eggplant was an experience. The Magaricz recipe told me to peel the eggplant. I wasn't expecting the plant to go brown as I was peeling it. The texture of the plant itself is unlike anything I have ever worked with. To me it is kind of spongy and not that nice looking. It reminded me of a zucchini, another vegetable I hate.

The only thing I could eat was the Baba Ghanouj. The Magaricz was sweet and not an appetizing colour. I will say it reminded me of changing a young baby's diaper. I won't say anymore about this. The eggplant pitas weren't edible at all for me. However, the most surprising thing about this evening was my husbands reaction. I was expecting the worst. His philosophy about dinner is that there has to be meat included. Some animal has to have given it's life in order for him to eat. Tonight's dinner was vegan. He ate everything and even said that it wasn't that bad! I almost fell out of my chair!

In any case I won't be eating any of this again and I don't plan on ever picking up another eggplant.

Thanks for reading.

Lynn

In terms of the next challenge, I will have to play it by ear. I'm entering a busy volunteer season and need to keep all of my options open.